


Teamwork

by voxmyriad



Category: Supernatural, The Agency
Genre: Crossover, Does anyone else even know this show?, Gabriel and computers don't mix, Gen, I just like same-actor different-character funtimes okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-10 18:21:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/469267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voxmyriad/pseuds/voxmyriad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you want something done right, <s>do it yourself</s> find someone else who looks like you and make <i>them</i> do it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Teamwork

**Author's Note:**

> ...Right. I don't write crossovers. I've watched all of two episodes of The Agency. It was apparently enough to inspire this. So. Allow me to introduce [Lex](http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lqj0512tb71qdp3a7.jpg). Lex is a paranoid, cynical, snarky hacker who works for the CIA. He has no last name, we don't even know if "Lex" is his first name, but he bears a striking resemblance to someone else we know, and that's going to come in handy. Also I have no idea what this is.

It didn’t seem that hard, at first glance. It didn’t _look_ like much of anything: a big bank of brushed steel, towers fitted into a rack of matte-black metal, blue and green and yellow LEDs dotting the silver in rows and colums. There was a screen, with a keyboard - no mouse - and a simple black and white interface.

` login as: **|**`

“Well, this is gonna be a walk in the park,” Gabriel muttered, staring at the blinking cursor. He raised his hands to the keyboard and tried a few things, but this computer system was no human mind, easily tricked and tempted into giving up its secrets. It knew what it wanted, it knew Gabriel didn’t have it, and it was immune to the cajoling, the pleading, the yelling, and even the smack of Gabriel’s hand did nothing more than sting his palm and leave a scuff-mark in the black metal.

“So, great. Plan B.” Too bad he didn’t really have one of those. The archangel stood back from the keyboard and thought.

He hadn’t thought about the Spear of Longinus in...well, ever, but they needed to know where it was. Apparently the United States government knew where it was, and the answer was somewhere in that mishmash of circuits and lights, and he’d been dispatched to figure it out; he couldn’t come back with _nothing_ , but this was getting him nowhere. “Deliver unto me the secrets you hold” was about as far as Gabriel was going to get, and he’d feel silly standing over a machine and intoning something like that.

It hadn’t worked anyway.

“So, they want _me_ to do this,” he mused, tapping his chin. “Well, _someone_ has to know how to do this.” It was just a case of finding them.

***

Things were quiet. Things were _boring_ -quiet. Stiles was away, probably in the gym with Terri as they fought hand-to-hand and tried to pretend no one noticed their _ridiculous_ sexual tension. Honestly, Lex had occasionally thought about hacking a Presidential decree that they either knock it off and move on or get married and have CIA babies. If it wouldn’t get his ass thrown in jail, he might have.

He rounded the door to the canteen and blinked. This wasn’t the canteen. This looked more like “The basement server room?” he murmured, drawn immediately forward to the keyboard and screen, like always.

“That’s the theory,” drawled a voice behind him that sounded familiar somehow and Lex whirled, mentally cursing letting his guard down - Stiles was _always_ on him about that, not paying attention to his surroundings, it would get him in trouble.

Still, paying attention to his surroundings didn’t really prepare him for that. “Uh,” he managed, and the stranger who looked _way too much like him_ grinned like he’d been waiting for it.

“Nope,” he said cheerfully. “Gabe.”

“...Gabe.”

“Yup.”

Lex raised a fluid, expressive eyebrow. “Gabe what?”

“Oh, come on,” Gabe said, rolling his eyes the way Lex did when he heard about another of Stiles’ failed conquests. “That’s not remotely nice. I’m not asking ‘Lex what’.”

“You’re not the one who was getting a snack,” Lex countered, wondering how the other-him knew his name.

“True. Fine, Gabe’s short for Gabriel. Can you get in that thing?”

Lex had a login - hell, he’d written the backdoor, he didn’t _need_ a login, but playing dumb might be the best idea. “Maybe. Where are we?”

“Basement of some government building. CIA, maybe? I didn’t pay attention, I just went where I needed to go, but I didn’t expect to run into Deep Thought here.”

Lex looked at the screen, then back at Gabriel, then took a cautious step back from the keyboard. “Uh, I really don’t think you have clearance to be here,” he said, fingers running nervously around the laminated edges of his badge.

“That makes two of us. Good thing no one’s gonna be checking. Look, it’s easy,” Gabriel said, his voice taking on a wheedling, soothing tone as he slipped back into what he _did_ know how to do. “All I need is one piece of intel.”

The human shot him an expression that startled Gabriel in its familiarity. “Don’t play me, buddy. I know _all_ about the innocent ‘I’m so harmless’ look, it’s how I get chicks.”

“How well does that work?”

“Well enough that I’m _real_ good at pulling the innocent ‘I’m so harmless’ look.”

“Ugh, you remind me _way_ too much of me. _Fine_ , I need to know where something is, but I already tried everything I know.”

Lex looked closer at the screen, at the string of failed logins. “Jesus. You really _don’t_ know how this shit works. It’s not gonna respond well to being cussed out,” he said, struggling really hard not to smile, then saying to hell with it and letting a wide grin split his face. “‘Assmonkey’ is pretty good, though.”

“Yeah, this thing’s complete lack of caring that I’m in a hurry reminded me of some assmonkeys I know back home. So, can you do it?”

“I still don’t know why I should want to.”

Gabriel considered. “The fate of the world rests in your hands?”

Lex folded his arms.

“It’ll be fun?”

Why did the human know all his best expressions? Gabriel was growing disgruntled and he scowled. “How about ‘Because I told you to’?”

“Look, buddy, I might not look like much and I’m no full field agent, but I _was_ trained for the field by the CIA. Give me a little credit not to buckle under to _that_.”

Gabriel heaved a sigh. “Fine, you want the truth? I am the archangel Gabriel and I need to find the Spear of Longinus, which was stolen from Heaven and hidden, and _where_ it’s hidden is in _there_ , and _you_ can get in there and find out.”

Lex just kind of stood there for a moment. “The what?”

“ **The Spear of Destiny** ,” Gabriel intoned in a deep, resonant voice, spreading his hands dramatically.

“That’s from _Constantine_.”

“Ripoff. Hollywood has to get inspiration from somewhere.”

“Uh-huh. And it’s been stolen.”

“It and several other things, but this one’s my beef to deal with.”

“And you’re the archangel Gabriel.”

“Guilty.”

“The archangel Gabriel looks like me.”

Gabriel held up a finger. “First off, bucko, you’re about a nanosecond old compared to me, so if anyone looks like anyone, it ain’t in that direction. Second, no, the archangel Gabriel would burn your eyes right out of your head. You look like Loki. Any other questions, Arthur Dent?”

“How did you get down here? Security is usually better at keeping out mental patients.” Then Lex looked horrified. “Oh god, you didn’t pretend to be _me_ to get down here, did you?”

Gabriel sighed. “Fine, okay,” he said and before Lex could flinch away Gabriel was standing right in front of him, and two fingers touched his forehead.

The knowledge of how to navigate the CIA’s database was too ingrained and _way_ too complex for Gabriel to just _take_ , that conclusion was drawn real fast, and Gabriel switched tactics: he put the knowledge of the truth into the human’s mind, and when Lex’s eyes opened again he looked like he’d just swallowed something he was having second thoughts on, like he’d just seen a whole boatload of ghosts, and like he’d just heard the most exhilarating news of his entire life, all at once.

There was an impressively long moment before his knees gave way.

***

“Feeling better?”

Lex opened his eyes, then closed them again. There was an angel talking to him. It was like the apex of Do Not Want. “No.”

“Well, pull it together, kiddo, we have work to do.”

Lex opened his eyes again and focused on the mirror-face hovering above him. “Why me?”

“You were _Chosen_ ,” Gabriel replied with another dramatic flourish. “You’re a prophet for the modern age! Nah, I’m screwing with you,” Gabriel said cheerfully. “I needed the closest thing to _me_ who could do this. You look like me. That was enough. Anyway, I need your help, and then I’ll be out of your hair.”

Going back over the parcel of truths he’d received, Lex knew without a doubt that it was true, the angel _did_ need help. He pushed himself up, waved off the angel’s extended hand, and stood in front of the keyboard.

It took seventeen minutes, longer than it would have if the angel - he couldn’t think _Gabriel_ anymore, somehow the name had less meaning than just repeating _the angel_ over and over and over - if the angel had taken his first few hints and kept his mouth shut so Lex could concentrate. But he hadn’t, and now Lex’s right hand hurt like a son of a bitch from the punch he’d administered to the angel’s arm.

At least he had his silence now.

“There,” he said at last, stepping away from the keyboard, and Gabriel’s eyes fixed on the information, committing it to memory as he scrolled through it.

“Toledo,” he muttered, “why is everything in Ohio?”

It took Lex only a few more keystrokes to back out and clean up his trail. “So, what now?” he asked, turning back and folding his arms again. “We dig up this Spear of Destiny and go after the bad guys?”

“That’s what _I_ do,” Gabriel replied cheerfully. “ _You_ get to go back to work. Thanks for the help, kiddo,” he added as he extended his fingers toward Lex’s forehead again.

“Hey!” Lex ducked away, swatting at the hand. “You’re going to tell me all that and then just wander off? Have mercy, man.”

“Believe me, Lexi, you don’t want to get involved in this,” Gabriel said with more seriousness than he’d seen so far. “Better if you just forget about it.”

Lex wavered, undecided, but Gabriel decided for him, appearing behind him and touching his face when he turned in surprise.

***

“Sorry, kiddo,” Gabriel murmured as the human slumped to the floor and disappeared, sent back to his desk with a click of Gabriel’s fingers. “Believe it or not, this _is_ mercy.”

***

_...Chosen...fate of the world...Constantine...Arthur Dent?_

Lex started, one arm shooting into a pile of papers and nearly sending them all over the floor. He grabbed at them, scrabbling them back into some semblance of order, and sat back, scrubbing a hand through his hair.

He didn't fall asleep at his desk. Of course not. That was totally unprofessional. And when he did, he dreamed of Tina in Documentation, not...not whatever that had been.

He muttered something about preservatives and institutional and societal poisoning and stopped talking as his eyes fell upon a neatly-folded square of pumpkin-orange terrycloth.

There was a note. He read it.

>   
> ~~Arthur~~ Lex,  
>  Careless to get caught without your towel. Don't let it happen again. You never know WHAT might happen.
> 
> We'll always have Langley,  
>  ~~Ford~~ Gabriel
> 
>   
> ~~P.S. Thank you.~~  
> 

"Oh, sure, _sure_. How come the Tina dreams don't get to be real?" Lex grumbled as he shoved the towel into his messenger bag. God's sense of humor left a lot to be desired.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Livejournal, now here for your AO3 reading pleasure.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Teamwork [podfic]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/753356) by [KD reads (KDHeart)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KDHeart/pseuds/KD%20reads)




End file.
